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“My Ribs Are In My Eyes!” — New Releases, Week of July 13th

There’s a special time once a week, where we gather around our computers, huddling by the warmth they give off, basking in the glow of the monitor, awaiting this week’s New Releases. Well friends, that time is now, the grand famine is over. Prepare thyself for some sweet games as this week we take you to the next level.

Rocket League

Firstly we have the latest in ESL. That’s right: Rocket League. Imagine this if you will: soccer, but better. A roaring engine. You smell nothing but destruction. You open your eyes to a field with just souped up cars and trucks with rockets that fly across the battleground, locked in glorious combat to move the ball into the net. A world where no people trip and get taken to the hospital for a mere scratch.

Rocket League is everything soccer can’t be and more. Fast cars, destruction, and sport. If this hasn’t sold you alone, perhaps the literal billion ways to customize your vehicle, or how about four-player local split-screen or online multiplayer of eight with cross-platform head-to-head matchmaking with fellow gamers on the PS4. If you’re up for the challenge, ESL has opened up the North American League — so not only can you get in while this is still hot, but make a name for yourself, too, in the world of Rocket Car Sports.

Also launching this week is the remaster of hilarious platformer No Time To Explain, which I would discuss in detail, but you see, I’m from the future and I have to wait what’s that OH GO–

It’s not every day that Future You tries to warn you about some sort of catastrophic event and then gets attacked brutally by a giant crab monster thing from the future timeline which kills Future You (possibly with ribs approaching the eye area), which you probably don’t even like anyways because let’s face it, future Orion was a 6/10 on the cool scale, not the 8 that I am now.

AYB favourites TinyBuild got their start when No Time To Explain was successfully Kickstartered, and then Greenlit for release on Steam. Following that success, TinyBuild was able to deliver us SpeedRunners, Lovely Planet, Boid, and most recently Divide By Sheep (which we review here).

This is as well TinyBuild’s first jump to console, with No Time To Explain: Remastered being released on Xbox One as well as Steam. (Current owners of No Time To Explain will receive the new game for free, per this tweet.)

Now that I’ve got you all emotional with that rich and beautiful history, prepare your body and Steam library for the game that started it all, boasting a ton of new features like four-player split screen multiplayer, collecting hats, new characters, killing giant crabs, eating cake, and FIGHTING SHARKS.

I shouldn’t have to mention anything beyond this point, however, if you must know more, they’ve also redone the entire soundtrack and have a built-in level editor.

July 17th cannot come soon enough.

Orion, Contributing Editor and self-proclaimed AYB Field Correspondent. A lover of cats, buttons, and a firm handshake, his opinions are his own. 

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