Archive News

Jesse Dreams Of Content — Eighteen Quintillion Procedurally-Generated Harambes

It’s such a pleasant idea, isn’t it? A universe full of infinite Harambes. Enough for everyone, for centuries to come.

Let’s get to the Hot Takes™, shall we?


No Man’s Karma — Hello Games Responds To NMS Leaks With Incredible Day-One Update

No Man’s Sky developer Hello Games suffered a pair of blows recently. Not only did a store break street date and begin selling copies of the highly-anticipated NMS early, one player who obtained a copy (although possibly not from that store) determined that it was possible to get to the center of your starting galaxy within a dozen hours or so. Heartbreaking, for the people who’d expected days and days of curious exploration before that happened.

So what do you do? Chalk it up to Gamers Gonna Be Gamers? Admit that you live in a dreadful world full of broken dreams and add this to the pile? Expose an extremity for Harambe Sean Murray?

Here’s what Hello Games did, in a perfect little bit of timing: drop a Day One patch that fundamentally changes the early-game experience, allowing players to choose paths in a guided introduction to the NMS universe. On top of that, the patch adjusts creature diversity, planet diversity, upgrade balancing, some writing in the game (!), and a whole bunch more.

(Additionally, according to Giant Bomb’s Quick Look at the game, the economy has been adjusted so that quick trips to your local galactic center are no longer possible.)

I like what happened here, intentional or not. No breaking your own game to spite pirates. No invalidation of keys. Just an implicit admission that yes, you got in early–but if you want the same experience as everyone else, you’re going to have to start at the same time as everyone else.

Well done, Hello Games. Well done.

id Software Mulls Business Models For Quake Champions

How do you monetize a game where everyone can force the enemies into one particular model?

Not to say that that’s a feature of Quake Champions yet — an E3 2016-announced game on which dandr0id will have some info up soon, if I’m not mistaken — but battling against bright, colourful, easy-to-see opponents because you programmed their skins has classically been a Thing in previous Quakes. So do you keep that, and give up on that sweet, sweet cosmetic DLC money, or do you dispense with it, and risk ire from a very entrenched fanbase?

This is the problem facing id Software. Says studio head Tim Willits to PC Gamer, “that is a really hard problem, and so for us we’re trying to figure out exactly what people want more of, and how they perceive it… And I’m not even trying to be cagey! It’s not like we know and just aren’t trying to tell anybody, we don’t know and we’re still trying to figure this out.”

So I guess the question is: how much like Overwatch do you want to be?

Overwatch does this neat thing where, when certain characters use their Ultimate skill, the enemy team and the friendly team will hear different voice lines. (Cf. Hanzo, “Let the Dragon consume you!” / “Ryū ga waga teki wo kurau!”, among others.)

Why not expand that? id could set it up in Quake Champions so that the friendly team can see each others’ models with cosmetic DLC intact, while the enemy team is presented as the default model of the character they’re playing. As long as there’s consistency, I’m sure the competitive players will be fine, even if they have one fewer high-end option than they’re used to.

It’s a thought, anyway. A deliciously, deliciously monetary thought.

Player Of Untold Power Unlocks Secret Doorway, Mysteries Within

I love hearing stories from games you’d think are dead.

This one comes to us from the twenty-year-old 2D top-down MMORPG Tibia, where since 2005, there has existed a door that says, and I quote, “You see a gate of expertise for level 999. Only the worthy may pass.” 

Tibia is a hardcore, grindy RPG, as our ancestors once played. Developers CipSoft put the door in as a joke, expecting that no-one would ever reach it.

Well, a player named Kharsek has. And in only nine years, per Vice — extremely quickly, according to some of the game’s residents.

The fascinating thing for me is that Kharsek has gone completely silent. Kharsek got to 999 in record time, walked through that mysterious door… and vanished. Whatever may be beyond it, we know nothing, because Kharsek isn’t talking, and neither are CipSoft.

There’s two ways this could go. Either there’s literally nothing behind the door, and Kharsek’s only reward for nine years of effort was a moment of fame. Or — and this is the more pleasant thought — Tibia 2 is en route, and Kharsek’s going to be involved somehow.

Either way, it’s going to be interesting to track.

10,000 Free Amiga Games, Jonny eSports Is On AYB, And More

Let’s give a big AYB welcome (not what happens in TrackMania, no, the normal AYB welcome, with like the word “Welcome” and stuff) to Jonny eSports! Jonny and reTouch Media are bringing the reSports Radio Show to AYBOnline, and we’re stoked to have ’em. Check out a special preview of Jonny taping an interview with AYB Contributor Mark McAvoy!

Also, here’s a link to over 10,000 free Amiga games on Don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya.

Jesse Mackenzie is the Managing Editor for He can be reached at, and his Harambes are his own.

Leave a Reply