Alright, you’ve probably heard tons about this “No Man’s Sky” but I’m not going to bore you with the details you’ve probably heard every streamer and their dog tell you. The long and short of it, planet exploration, naming planets “Harambe’s revenge” or “Harambe II: Harambe Harder” and finding dope new animals that you can never truly love.
If I were to personally recommend a title to explore space we’d tell you all about the Mass Effect Trilogy which had sufficient planet mining, exploring, driving over aliens etc. Plus the multiplayer where you can see the other players when they’re there.
ANYWAYS let’s talk about what you can do with your time aside from this not so gender neutral title “No Man’s Sky”
First on our list, learn how to bake bread. Sure you think I threw a curveball right off the bat. “Bake bread, is this guy off his rocker”? The answer is yes, I broke my chair, and yes let’s bake some bread. I find the process of making the dough, rolling it on the table, watching it rise, extremely therapeutic. Tell me you’ve never beat the living hell out of bowl of dough while kneading it! If you answered no, you’re probably a normal functioning member of our society, and if you answered “yes” you’re the type of person I want reading this. Anyways the whole process start to finish is simply satisfying. Plus, who doesn’t like bread?
Secondly, get the hell outside, explore that big beautiful world we call nature. Who’s to stop you from naming animals here? Go forth wild adventurer and rename some critters. Obviously keep that to yourself cause the world may not just be ready for your genius. Be creative, recategorize animals, plants, give them some dope back stories and stats.
Third, go see your parents. Stop reading this and call them dammit they miss you.
Fourth, become an active member of your community, now that you’ve called your parents you should feel refreshed and inspired to help others, why not go down the local soup kitchen and lend a hand? Or perhaps some local fundraisers? Get out there and make a difference.
Fifth, get your life together and get fit. I’m not talking the Incredible Hulk jacked lifestyle, I’m just saying get out there and walk, do some weights. Your body will thank you later!
Sixth on our list is to simply travel, there’s a whole big world out there full of adventure, new places to be seen, animals to be named. We advise taking a guide of course, and probably avoiding rainforests if you’re not a trained professional. Go somewhere safe like Pax Prime or RTX where you can name all the trees you want and while you’re at it meet some like minded individuals.
Seven, Learn a new language. Whether it be the language of love German, or the elegant soothing sounds of Hungarian. There are literally hundreds to choose from to impress your friends, spouse*, pets, and neighbors. I mean tell me a time you were in a pickle when you didn’t know conversational Russian?. Probably a lot, but hey have no fear with you now dedicating your time towards learning a new language, you’ll be ready for any and all curve balls thrown at you.
Eighth is a no brainer, sign the petition to honor Harambe in the new Pokemon game Sun and Moon. Activists for the shooting of the Gorilla have put forth a petition to honor the ape in the latest game. You can sign it here.
Nine, spend the day learning how to shingle a roof. Why call a handy person when you can be that handy person? It’s a lot of hard work but if you like and beat Xcom Enemy Within on Iron Man… you can learn how to shingle a roof, heck you might love the thrill and rush of ripping a roof apart and reshingling it. You might just find your calling.
Ten, learn to cross stitch, I mean you came this far so why the hell not? Cross stitching is an elegant art expression passed down generation by generation. Plus you can do a lot of cool stuff, check out this design and tell me you don’t want to make something yourself?
Anyways I’ve given you my list of things you can do to waste your time productively, learning some new skills, languages and some things you might keep forever.
Best of luck explorers in whatever you choose to do!
Steve Noel is the Deputy Editor for AYBOnline, his opinions are his own. It’s always high noon at his desk.
